Rough Week!

This past week has been full of good and bad situations that have required faith and mental processing.  I have been so overwhelmed and it is wonderful to have today to just relax and let it all go. 

On Sunday, my car decided not to start, leaving me stranded at home.  We finally got it to start back up so I took it to a mechanic for an opinion.  According to him, there is nothing seriously wrong with my car and until the scenario recreates itself there is nothing he can do to fix it.  So each time I get in my car I have to wonder if it will start or not.  I'm not particularly enthused about that, but at least it is working again for now. 

On Monday, I made the leap into adulthood and put down a deposit for an apartment.  Although the rent will take up at least 50% of my income, I have decided to trust God and allow Him to dictate my steps.  I have become comfortable with living off of others and it is time for me to really step out on my own.  It is a stretch, but I know that with God, I can do it!

Tuesday brought a little relief because I was asked to work full time at the bank.  I may only have it for a temporary time frame, but every little bit helps.  It was also cool to see how I took that financial step towards an apartment not knowing that the next day would hold some financial provision.  In addition, I have already accumulated many furniture donations.  This apartment is so exciting not as much for me to have my own place, but more so that I can have a place that will allow me to have an open door policy for my girls and my friends.  I want this space so I can help others.  I move in mid-February.

The rest of the week was chaotic at the bank and loaded with many decisions and lots of stress.  I am so thankful that I was able to survive this week and move past all of the barriers.  I have to admit...I did not handle this week well.  My spiritual health was sacrificed and it was difficult watching myself give less than my all.  Because of it though, I am determined to do better and to press on.  I am human and make mistakes, but I will learn from them and allow God to restore me.  I have definitely fallen short of the glory of God this week, but I choose to learn from this experience and try harder next week.  I want to love more and worry less this next week. 

Well Hello There 2011!

I guess if I'm going to set a "New Year's Resolution" then it should be something like...
Update my blog more! hehe

So as I sit and ponder all the things that I could write today, I think that I will recap the last year and just see all the blessings and experiences that have shaped me. 

2010

• My dad and now stepmom got married
• I began spring semester of my sophomore year of college at Johnson Bible College
• I survived that semester and headed back to Sky Ranch Cave Springs in Oklahoma to work for the summer
• My big sister and husband announced that they were pregnant in July
• They also decided to move from Kansas to Kentucky
• I endured one of the most difficult and faith-challenging summers yet
• When I returned to Indiana at the end of the summer, I felt called to something bigger
• I withdrew from college and left behind many friends
• I moved to Austin, TX on faith of God's provision, which has been displayed so wonderfully to me
• I have been housed by two wonderful families
• In September, I turned 21
• I have two part-time jobs that will eventually turn into one full-time

It is amazing what can happen in a year.  When 2010 started, all I could think about was how difficult it would be to adjust to my dad's marriage.  What a trivial thing to worry about in light of all the other experiences that I had.  If you had asked me on January 1, 2010 to predict where I would be and what I would be doing in 2011, this is what I would have said...

• Junior year at JBC
• In a relationship
• Planning a summer internship
• Staying up late, worrying about homework, late-night Taco Bell runs, and loving the college life

I'm so glad that God has called me to this exciting and mysterious journey!  There are so many things to learn and experience!  Although I am overwhelmed by unknowns, I know that I will look back at this time next year and say how trivial those worries were compared to everything else.  I have been so blessed and I have no reason to worry about those unknowns. 

In the midst of all my worrying and impatience, there are a few verses from the Bible that I need to replay in my mind and focus on until I can really believe and trust. 

Matthew 6:25-30
²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life^[a]?
   ²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?

Ouch!  "you of little faith"  Is that you?  I'm gonna have to admit, I thought I had BIG faith by moving to Texas and doing all of those scary BIG things, but in the smallest things do I trust God to provide?  Not always...rarely...it definitely needs work!  I guess this should be my "New Year's Resolution" as well! I'm hoping and praying that God blesses you, stretches you, and reveals more of Himself to you in this new year 2011!!