Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Impatience...*sigh*

First of all, I would like to apologize for taking so long to write again.  Life has not been very crazy, but I have been a little...ok maybe a lot...lazy the past couple of weeks.  My birthday was an awesome experience with friends!  I am very blessed to have their experience, wisdom, and generosity in my life.  I could not have asked for more. 



The job situation is interesting.  I am still unemployed, but I have had two interviews and I have one scheduled for next week.  Hopefully one of these three works out for me.  As the title of today's blog states, I am getting a little impatient.  I have been in Austin for three weeks now and I am more than ready to have a job.  I cannot sit around doing nothing like this for too much longer.  I did borrow some books to fill my time and that has been a huge blessing, but books keep me from socializing and I'm feeling more lazy by the minute.  I get so sucked in that I forget about everything else important until the book is finished.  Then I can move on with my life.  I just need something else to keep me busy.

I also experienced a little heartbreak this week as well.  In the past when I have moved, I never really tried to hang onto friends.  Well this time, I wanted it to be different so I have been attempting to keep in touch with as many people as I can.  Unfortunately, that is way more difficult than I ever expected.  Everyone is in a different stage of life...mostly college...than me and they keep busy schedules.  I, on the other hand, spend much of my time waiting for responses to texts and messages, feeling quite lonely at times.  Making new friends is also presenting itself as a big challenge for me.  I need to figure out some new strategies for that as well as sucking up my initial shyness and branching out into unfamiliar territory.  I've done it once, I can surely do it again! 

My focus the past week has not been where it needed to be.  I am working on that.  Every day is a struggle for me to surrender my plans and hopes to God and allow Him to take control.  I know that if I do surrender each thing to His control, the outcome will be beyond what I could have ever imagined for myself and much more satisfactory than what I could do on my own.  So why does it continue to be such a struggle?  Because of my human nature...I like to be in control and do my own thing and it is very hard to trust that someone else can do better than me! I am not God and I'm so thankful for that!  He has blessed me so much more and taken me where I never would have dreamed.  I don't deserve what I have, but nevertheless, I have been given it and I need to continue to seek His will for me as I search for a job and friendships...patiently!  Without Him, I have nothing!

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