Sunday, September 19, 2010

Almost There

Tomorrow is my official last day to live in Indiana.  My official last day to be dependent on my mother.  My official last day to be a kid.  I had a little bit of a breakdown today when all of that registered in my brain.  I am now fully responsible for myself.  I depend on myself and God.  It's quite an adjustment to make. 

Mom and I went over finances today and I'm slightly overwhelmed.  She has a way with making things seem horrific and impossible.  I'm quite nervous about finding a job that will pay the rent.  Each day I have to continue to remind myself that God will provide and take care of me.  Each day it gets more difficult too.  My brain keeps kicking in and pointing out all of the difficulties and the fears and whatever all else that discourages me.  I must find a way to turn it off.  This is the point when I am most afraid and nervous.  I need to lean on my faith more than ever right now! 

Encouraging news though...a family from the church in Austin has offered their home to me for temporary living.  I'm so excited to meet them!  I'm sure they have much wisdom and kindness to share with me.  Other than that...I still have no idea what life in Austin will be for me.  God has chosen not to reveal any more info to me at this time and I must be able to accept that. 

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